Solving the sibling wealth gap

We Canadians are famous for staying private about money. But finances can undermine family unity in insidious ways. At the top of this list is wealth disparities among siblings.

To help address wealth gaps among siblings, I’ve asked my colleague Jeffrey Smith to share his experiences on this subject when advising high net worth families. Jeff is a Senior Manager in BDO’s Wealth Advisory Services practice, based in Kelowna, BC.
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By Jeffrey Smith

As a child, I never really noticed wealth disparities at family gatherings. Everyone seemed to be the same: grandparents, parents, aunts, and uncles. No one had a lake house or cottage, or did multiple family vacations; everyone met Fridays at my grandparents to visit. We were all the same, or so I thought.

Now, many years later, I see these differences within families—in both my own and others. The issue comes up regularly when doing financial and estate planning for families and advising them on how to manage their wealth.

Many families suffer from friction caused by one sibling having more money than the other. Whether this is due to differing lifestyle choices or career impairment due to health, sibling relationships can break down due to income and wealth disparity. Parents can’t solve all these problems for their children—sometimes the biggest challenge is to not intervene—but they can at least avoid increasing the conflict.

Two siblings, two lifestyles

Consider this fictional example with some true-to-life themes.

A large family with many children includes two brothers who have been very close from the time they were toddlers. That all changed when they graduated university. The older one (let’s call him “Dan”) finished his schooling a few years before the younger one (let’s call him “Stewart”). By the time Stewart graduated, Dan had married into a wealthy family. This allowed Dan to live a life of leisure, at least in Stewart's eyes. Meanwhile, Stewart began looking for his first job.

He also began to feel jealous of Dan. For the first 25 years of their lives, they were equals; now Dan leads a privileged life, where money is almost no object. Animosity grew as Dan invited Stewart to expensive events and enjoyed his possessions, which Stewart couldn’t afford. Unfortunately, what was once the closest of childhood relationships deteriorated into occasional chats based more on obligation than brotherly love.

Sibling wealth disparities are so different from other differences in wealth. Comparing yourself to a friend or co-worker, you can internally justify why they may appear to be ahead of you financially. Maybe they inherited a large sum or came from a wealthy family; however, when comparing your financial success to your brother or sister, those justifications sometimes fall. (Though not in Dan and Stewart’s case.)

From the perspective of an outsider, siblings would have had the same advantages and disadvantages growing up, been influenced by the same parents, and had access to the same financial and academic resources. Therefore, when one sibling finds more financial success, people can make assumptions about intelligence and work ethic.

Is that reasonable, though? What if one sibling suffered from a medical impairment or financial hardship early in life? What if finances are different because of divorce or one having more children than the other? What if one married into wealth? What if the wealth variances are solely a reflection of drive, determination and work ethic?  Obviously, a complex and delicate area.

When wealth gaps occur, it can impact the sibling relationship. As wealth is generated, lifestyle changes naturally occur—people may eat out more or travel more. The experiences and bonds that were created growing up on a level playing field now have unequal pressure. This can harm the relationship, sometimes irrevocably.

The role of planning

While sibling wealth variances based on independent individual circumstances are subject to many variables that cannot be controlled, family related wealth variances can be controlled or minimized in many circumstances. Families need to avoid negative pitfalls from poor planning that may inadvertently lead to significant wealth disparity for the next generation. Let’s consider a situation that is fictional but reflects real-life realities.

A successful farming family plans its family business succession. The parents decide to retire, and help their son continue the farm by giving him the equipment and an equivalent amount of cash to their daughter. The parents decide they wish to retain ownership of the land for retirement income via rent. 

At first glance this all seems fair. The son receives debt-free equipment and the daughter receives cash to do what she pleases. Everyone appears happy, except for one bit of information that is far more important than it seems: What price is the son paying to rent the parents’ land?

The question arises at a client review of their net worth and income. As the family’s advisor, I would ask why the son is paying far less than market value for renting the farm. The answer? Rent was based on the parents’ expected cash needs and did not consider fair market rents.

Here is where wealth disparity is inadvertently created by mom and dad. The son has been operating a farm. Depending on the amount of time, amount of savings, and how one wants to quantify the savings and overall impact on the son’s business, the total benefit could reach millions of dollars. Therefore, the son receives a significant benefit compared to his sister because of his parents’ retirement.

In this example, we can help this fictional family by identifying and quantifying the unintended wealth inequality. They would then be able to equalize it, and likely strengthen the sibling bond in the process. But it does underline that one must look at all factors when transitioning a business. If you don’t consider all related transactions, you too could be creating unintended consequences.

What grandparents can do

It’s not just parents who need to watch for planning missteps on wealth. Grandparents can cause hard feelings and friction when they name grandchildren directly in the will. When a sibling does not have children, they may feel like they’re penalized for not having children.

Depending on the amount of money and number of grandchildren, the estate may erode significantly. Consider whether instead your children should receive equal units and then they control how much is passed on to their children; or you still leave money to grandchildren, but allocate equal amounts to each family regardless of how many children. There is no right answer, but these important planning areas warrant conversation and consideration. There are ways to keep the playing field equal, and in doing so keep the peace within the family.

Managing emotions can be difficult when discussing finances. But money and success should never ruin the foundation of family and relationships. Having good, open conversations, being honest about how you feel, and expressing what is bothering each party can mend the most fragile of family relationships and create stronger bonds.

Jeffrey Smith - CPA, CA, CFP, CLU - is a Senior Manager in BDO’s Wealth Advisory Services practice and can be reached at 250-763-6700 or by email at jrsmith@bdo.ca.

The content on this blog has been carefully prepared, but it has been written in general terms and should be seen as broad guidance only. The blog cannot be relied upon to cover specific situations and you should not act, or refrain from acting, upon the information contained therein without obtaining specific professional advice. Please contact BDO Canada LLP to discuss these matters in the context of your particular circumstances. BDO Canada LLP, its partners, employees and agents do not accept or assume any liability or duty of care for any loss arising from any action taken or not taken by anyone in reliance on the information on this blog or for any decision based on it.

Please note the blog posts are time sensitive and subject to changes in legislation.

BDO Canada LLP, a Canadian limited liability partnership, is a member of BDO International Limited, a UK company limited by guarantee, and forms part of the international BDO network of independent member firms. BDO is the brand name for the BDO network and for each of the BDO Member Firms.

Gifting and Leaving Money to Your Grandchild (Part 2)

My previous blog post discussed the concept of  deemed dispositions when making gifts to grandchildren while alive and upon death. It also covered the issues of income attribution and ensuring family law is considered when making or providing for gifts. 

Today, I discuss gifting by grandparents using a Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP), Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA), or Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP). I also briefly discuss estate planning considerations for grandparents.

RESPs

RESPs are great vehicles to save for a grandchild’s education. A grandparent can contribute under their own plan for a grandchild, but it is very important for the grandparent to ensure they are not duplicating contributions made by the child’s parents.

If both a grandparent and parent have plans for a child, they must coordinate their contributions on a yearly basis. If the grandparent intends to make the annual contribution, the child's parents may not even want to bother opening a RESP for that child. Alternatively, the grandparent can just gift the yearly contribution to the parent, who then puts the money into the RESP they have set up for the child.

RESPs upon the death of a grandparent

If a grandparent (subscriber) dies, things can get very complex and deserve their own blog post.

However, here are two key things to consider in your estate planning:

1. Ensuring you have a successor subscriber so the plan can continue, or the RESP may become part of your estate.
2. A clause in your will setting out your intentions for the RESP, including whether you wish to have your estate continue making the RESP contributions.

Takeaway #1 – If you set up a RESP for your grandchild, ensure their parents don’t already have a plan. If they do have a RESP, communicate each year with them. Ensure your estate planning considers the RESP.

TFSAs

TFSAs are a great tax-free option to help your grandchildren (who are 18 or over) save for education, a house, a car, vacation or even retirement (if they can look that far ahead). 

Care should be taken to ensure you do not over-contribute to the TFSA, as penalties will apply.

TFSAs are far simpler than RESPs when giving money to a grandchild. The TFSA is set up in your grandchild’s name, so you don’t have the estate concerns you have as an RESP subscriber; however, you should not make direct contributions (you should gift the money to your grandchild to contribute), and you have no control over the TFSA and what your grandchild does with the money in their TFSA. If they wanted to, they could cash in the TFSA and travel the world - and you would have no say.

A grandparent does not require a clause in their will to deal with the TFSA. A grandparent could have a clause in their will to have their estate continue making yearly gifts equal to the TFSA contribution limit.

Takeaway #2 – Gifts to fund a TFSA for a child 18 and over are tax efficient and a great way to assist them in funding their education, home purchase or retirement savings. Just be aware, they can decide to use the money for a fancy sports car or vacation and you have no say in the matter.

RRSPs

For grandparents making gifts to grandchildren, an RRSP is like a TFSA in that it is set up in the grandchild’s name, the grandparent has no control over the RRSP. A gift for a RRSP should be on the understanding the grandchild will not touch the money until their retirement. But a grandparent has no way to enforce this.

RRSPs can be set up at any age, as long as the child has earned income and a social insurance number. Practically, there is limited tax savings value in an RRSP when a child has minimal taxable income (although there is a tax-deferred component and it can assist in teaching a grandchild about saving for retirement). A TFSA is often the better choice if you plan to gift $6,000 a year or less to your grandchild.

If you intend to gift more than $6,000 (assuming the first $6,000 goes to a TFSA), an RRSP contribution can be made equal to your grandchild’s RRSP contribution limit. It often makes sense for the grandchild to not claim an RRSP deduction until their income is higher and carry forward the contribution until they can obtain a larger tax refund. In any case, the RRSP money grows tax-free.

The grandparent and child need to ensure they do not exceed the child’s RRSP contribution limit, or penalties may apply.

Grandparent gifting to RRSP: Example

An example may help clarify the above.

Say a child works part-time, is over 18 (so has no attribution concerns) and makes $15,000 to $20,000 a year. The child’s RRSP contribution room is 18% of their annual income, so let’s say $3,000 a year for simplicity's sake (they may also have contribution room from prior years). The grandparent gives the grandchild $3,000 a year for five years to contribute to their RRSP while the child is in university. There would likely be little to no tax refund if the RRSP contribution is claimed each year while the grandchild is in school, due to tuition credits. 

But if the grandchild works full-time in the year after graduation and makes, say, $60,000, they could claim the RRSP carryforward deduction in Year 6 and obtain a refund – likely somewhere in the $4,000 to $5,000 range, while getting the tax-free growth on their RRSP assets from Day 1.

Takeaway #3 – Gifting money for a grandchild’s RRSP will typically be your last option (likely better to gift to RESP or TFSA).

Your will

A will is best discussed with an estate specialist. I will just provide a few considerations:

1. If you are leaving money to your grandchildren in your will, ensure you consider additional grandchildren that could be born after you draft your will or even after you pass away.
2. Is the bequest going to be outright or in trust? You may wish an outright gift for smaller bequests and if the grandchildren are older. If the grandchildren are younger or the bequest is large, a trust (a formal properly executed trust) will likely provide greater protection from the whims of an immature child.
3. Most legal writers suggest grandparents consider their own children’s financial circumstances, as you do not want to skip a generation from your children to your grandchildren when your own children may need the money and unintentionally create resentment with their own children.
4. At what age do you want your grandchildren to have access to the inheritance?

Takeaway #4 – There are multiple trips and traps in leaving bequests to your grandchildren. It is imperative you have an experienced estate lawyer draft your will if you are leaving substantial assets to your grandchildren.

I am finally done, and now I’ll catch my breath. Somehow one brief blog turned into two parts and almost 2,000 words. But long-time readers will not be surprised, I have never been one to buy into the conventional wisdom of keeping everything short because people have short attention spans. Anyways, stepping off my soapbox, grandparents: please consider the various issues I have discussed when considering gifts and bequests to your grandchildren.

The content on this blog has been carefully prepared, but it has been written in general terms and should be seen as broad guidance only. The blog cannot be relied upon to cover specific situations and you should not act, or refrain from acting, upon the information contained therein without obtaining specific professional advice. Please contact BDO Canada LLP to discuss these matters in the context of your particular circumstances. BDO Canada LLP, its partners, employees and agents do not accept or assume any liability or duty of care for any loss arising from any action taken or not taken by anyone in reliance on the information on this blog or for any decision based on it.

Please note the blog posts are time sensitive and subject to changes in legislation.

BDO Canada LLP, a Canadian limited liability partnership, is a member of BDO International Limited, a UK company limited by guarantee, and forms part of the international BDO network of independent member firms. BDO is the brand name for the BDO network and for each of the BDO Member Firms.

Gifting and Leaving Money to Your Grandchild

Many grandparents ask me about the tax and practical ramifications of gifting or bequeathing money or assets to their grandchildren. Some wish to make gifts while they are alive, others choose to make gifts upon their passing, and still others give both while alive and after passing.

I wrote the first draft of this blog post prior to COVID -19, but it is more relevant than ever, given many people have been laid off, lost their jobs or been set back financially, and many grandparents want to help them until they regain their financial footing. Today I will discuss some of the tax and other planning considerations for grandparents wishing to make these gifts or transfers.

Please note for brevity, I will use “grandparent” in lieu of “grandparent/grandparents” and “child” in lieu of “child/children” where applicable.

Tax Considerations

In Canada, unlike the United States, there is currently no gift tax. (Here’s hoping this remains the case.) While there may not be a gift tax, a grandparent may need to take specific steps for effective tax planning. Remember, you should never make a gift that puts your own retirement finances at risk.

Deemed Disposition

The deemed disposition rules are one of the tax issues that apply to gifts. A grandparent will be subject to a deemed disposition tax where they gift or transfer an asset (other than cash) that has appreciated in value to a grandchild, as the CRA will tax the capital gain.

For example, Grandma Johnson is very tech savvy and purchased 100 Shopify shares at $250, which are now worth $1,200 or so a share. She decides to gift the shares to her grandson Tom. Grandma Johnson will have a deemed disposition, resulting in a capital gain of $95,000 ($1,200-250 x 100 shares). 

In English, this means she will have to report a capital gain on her personal tax return of $95,000, even though she gifted the shares and did not sell them. If she is a high-rate taxpayer, she will owe approximately $25,000 in tax on shares she did not receive any money for. Thus, she potentially has a cash flow issue.

The folly of gifting a principal residence

Occasionally a grandparent thinks they will save money on tax and probate by transferring or gifting their principal residence (PR), or a part of it, to their grandchildren.

In truth, a grandparent generally should not gift a principal residence, as any gain on disposition of the PR will be tax-free as long as they continue to own and live in the PR (in addition, typically, a grandparent will need most if not all the value of their home to fund their retirement). While the deemed disposition of their PR in most cases will be tax-free, the grandparent will lose their principal residence exemption going forward on the portion of their PR that they transferred to the grandchild. Not only that - the grandchild will be taxable on any future growth of their share of the PR, assuming the grandparent continues to live in the home and the grandchild does not move into the house.  

Appreciated assets left in a will 

If a grandparent leaves appreciated assets in their will to a grandchild, the grandparent will again have a deemed disposition (this time triggered by their death as opposed to a gift) that must be reported on their terminal tax return (January 1 to date of death).

Takeaway #1 - You will generally want to gift cash. If you wish to gift assets with appreciated values, ensure you have enough excess cash to pay the income tax on the deemed disposition and you do not put your own retirement lifestyle at risk. You should also speak to your financial advisor or accountant before undertaking any substantial gift.

Takeaway #2 - Never transfer your home without first obtaining professional tax advice.

Attribution

Where a gift of money or assets is made during a grandparent’s lifetime to a minor child (under 18 years old), the grandparent will be subject to attribution on the gift, as well as the tax on the deemed disposition (on appreciated assets other than cash) discussed above.

This means that the grandparent reports the income – dividends or interest, for example – and pays the tax at the grandparent’s marginal rate, not at the grandchild’s tax rate. For example, if you gift marketable securities that pay a dividend of $500 a year, you pay tax on the $500 dividend.

In summary, capital gains realized by a minor child are not subject to attribution, but income such as interest and dividends is subject to attribution. There is no attribution if your grandchild is 18 and over. 

Attribution on assets left in a will 

Where a grandparent passes away and assets are bequeathed to a grandchild, there is no future attribution of income.

Takeaway #3 – If you intend to gift marketable securities to your minor grandchild, it may make sense to gift non-dividend paying stocks to avoid the attribution rules on dividends. This is not a rule, but an option to consider.

Attribution – RESPs, TFSAs and RRSPs

For children 18 years old and over, there is no attribution if you contribute to their Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP), Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA) and Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP). A minor child (under 18) cannot have a TFSA, so attribution is a moot point. However, assuming they have contribution room, a minor can have an RRSP and there is attribution on gifts for RRSP contributions. There is no attribution on RESP contributions on behalf of a minor.

See the detailed discussion in Part 2 of this post (in two weeks) for traps and tax considerations before making these contributions.

Avoiding attribution – Prescribed rate loans

A grandparent can avoid the attribution rules by making a prescribed interest rate loan (the current rate is 1%) to a family trust. Prescribed rate loans are not subject to the Tax on Split Income (TOSI) rules.

Note, when I say trust above, I mean a properly set-up legal trust, not an informal “in-trust” account in the grandparent’s name. Informal in-trust accounts are not legal trusts and can cause unintended income tax and family issues and should be avoided.

Family Law

Grandparents (and parents) should always obtain family law advice for significant gifts. The laws are different for each province. In general, most gifts or inheritances are excluded property when the funds are not co-mingled or used for a matrimonial home; however, always first check with your family lawyer.

Grandparents often lend or gift grandchildren money to assist them in buying a house. There are various trips and traps when the loan is not legally documented and the interest on the loan not paid.

Takeaway #4 – Each province has its own Family Law Act and you should obtain family law advice for any significant gift or loan of cash made to a grandchild. Doing so will hopefully avoid your grandchild losing part of the value of that gift upon a marital break-up because the gift or loan was not property set up or the grandchild did not understand how to keep the property excluded.

That's all for Part 1 of this key topic that I get asked about a lot. In Part 2, we'll cover gifting by grandparents using a Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP), Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA), or Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP). We will also briefly discuss estate planning considerations for grandparents.

The content on this blog has been carefully prepared, but it has been written in general terms and should be seen as broad guidance only. The blog cannot be relied upon to cover specific situations and you should not act, or refrain from acting, upon the information contained therein without obtaining specific professional advice. Please contact BDO Canada LLP to discuss these matters in the context of your particular circumstances. BDO Canada LLP, its partners, employees and agents do not accept or assume any liability or duty of care for any loss arising from any action taken or not taken by anyone in reliance on the information on this blog or for any decision based on it.

Please note the blog posts are time sensitive and subject to changes in legislation.

BDO Canada LLP, a Canadian limited liability partnership, is a member of BDO International Limited, a UK company limited by guarantee, and forms part of the international BDO network of independent member firms. BDO is the brand name for the BDO network and for each of the BDO Member Firms.

The Best of The Blunt Bean Counter - A Family Vacation - A Memory Worth Not Dying For

This summer I am posting the "best of" The Blunt Bean Counter blog while I work on my golf game. Today, I am re-posting a May 8, 2012 blog that I already re-posted in 2015 on the merits of a grandparent/parent taking their family on a vacation if they have the financial means.

The impetus to post this blog yet again, was a retirement webinar for small business owners I took part in earlier this month. During the webinar I discussed this topic, which reinforced to me, how valuable these trips can be for family bonding (taking the optimistic viewpoint, as opposed to the possibility that too much togetherness may not be good for some families).

A Family Vacation- A Memory Worth Not Dying For

I have written several times on the topic of whether parents (parent can be interchanged with grandparent wherever used in this post), who have the financial means, should provide partial gifts while they are alive, as opposed to just leaving an inheritance to their children or grandchildren.

I am a proponent of providing partial gifts while alive if you have the financial resources. My rationale is simple. Why not receive the pleasure of your gift either directly (such as a family vacation) or vicariously (by observing your children or grandchildren enjoy their gift such as a bike, car or even cottage).

The concept of a partial gift being used at least in part for a family vacation has substantial appeal to many parents. A family vacation is appealing because a parent can participate in the experience, the vacation more often than not, results in memories that last a lifetime for all the participants, and lastly, the parent has control over the gift.

I can attest personally to the benefits of a family vacation. Several years ago, my in-laws funded a Disney Cruise vacation for their children, their children's spouses and their grandchildren. This trip had a profound impact on the bonding of the grandchildren. In the case of my in-laws, the memories and enhancement of their grandchildren’s relationships was priceless and continues to this day.

Another very poignant and moving example of the gift of travel is the story of Les Brooks. Les, a Vietnam veteran, had unresolved issues relating to the war and as he states in this Princess Cruises travel blog.

One day during the course of a conversation, Les’ mother asked him if he could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would he go. After thinking about the question he surprised his mother by saying Vietnam. Unbeknownst to Les, she later booked him on a cruise to Vietnam. 

Sadly, his mother passed away before Les took the cruise and could not observe the impact this gift had on her son’s life; but I would surmise, she knew the impact it would have as she paid for the cruise. Les says this about the special gift his mother provided while alive; “I realized my mother’s gift had opened the door to many profound gifts. Through her kindness and intuition, she provided the way back to Vietnam and my healing. There, through the smiling acceptance and unspoken forgiveness of that little girl and the many other Vietnamese who welcomed me, I was able to put aside much of the guilt that had gnawed at me for so long."

While Les’ gift was not a family bonding vacation, it was a gift provided while his mother was alive, a trip that may never have occurred if Les inherited the money and spent it otherwise.

The concept of using a partial gift to fund a family vacation has become popular for both family bonding and financial reasons. As grandparent David Campbell says in a USA Today article (link expired), he is mostly motivated by a desire to make his children's lives a little easier. "It's getting to a point I'd like them to enjoy life," says Campbell, a regional sales manager. "And if they're going to enjoy it, they might as well enjoy it with me."

I have observed the family vacation phenomenon on several of my own vacations. Suddenly a horde of people arrive at the pool or restaurant (not necessarily a welcome site for other vacationers) with corny matching t-shirts, saying “Smith Family Vacation 2011” or some other similar sentiment. 

Although we all know that any large family gathering can veer off the rails, these trips often bridge the generation gap between offspring and grandparents and parents. I often hear people reference these types of family vacations when they have a family get-together or the topic arises over dinner with non-family members.

Personally, I would rather hear my grandchildren say or know they are saying "When I was young, my grandparents took me on the most amazing trip!", than, “I just inherited $25,000 from my grandparents, what should I buy with it?”

This site provides general information on various tax issues and other matters. The information is not intended to constitute professional advice and may not be appropriate for a specific individual or fact situation. It is written by the author solely in their personal capacity and cannot be attributed to the accounting firm with which they are affiliated. It is not intended to constitute professional advice, and neither the author nor the firm with which the author is associated shall accept any liability in respect of any reliance on the information contained herein. Readers should always consult with their professional advisors in respect of their particular situation. Please note the blog post is time sensitive and subject to changes in legislation or law.

The Best of The Blunt Bean Counter - A Family Vacation- A Memory Worth Not Dying For

This summer I am posting the "best of" The Blunt Bean Counter blog while I work on my golf game. Today, I am re-posting a May 8, 2012 post on the merits of a grandparent/parent taking their family on a vacation if they have the financial means.

A Family Vacation- A Memory Worth Not Dying For

I have written several times on the topic of whether parents, who have the financial means, should provide partial gifts while they are alive, as opposed to just leaving an inheritance to their children or grandchildren.

I am a proponent of providing partial gifts while alive if you have the financial resources. My rationale is simple. Why not receive the pleasure of your gift either directly (such as a family vacation) or vicariously (by observing your children or grandchildren enjoy their gift such as a bike, car or even cottage).

The concept of a partial gift being used at least in part for a family vacation has substantial appeal to many parents. A family vacation is appealing because a parent can participate in the experience, the vacation more often than not, results in memories that last a lifetime for all the participants, and lastly, the parent has control over the gift.

I can attest personally to the benefits of a family vacation. Several years ago, my in-laws funded a Disney Cruise vacation for their children, their children's spouses and their grandchildren. This trip had a profound impact on the bonding of the grandchildren. In the case of my in-laws, the memories and enhancement of their grandchildren’s relationships was priceless and continues to this day.

Another very poignant and moving example of the gift of travel is the story of Les Brooks. Les, a Vietnam veteran, had unresolved issues relating to the war and as he states in a Princess Cruises travel blog (unfortunately the link has expired)  “Vietnam was a place I left in 1966 praying I would never have to go back. But Christle sensed the deeper truth…I was curious about the place; I wanted and needed to see for myself what life was like today for the people of a country that I left so torn apart by war.”.

One day during the course of a conversation, Les’ mother asked him if he could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would he go. After thinking about the question he surprised his mother by saying Vietnam. Unbeknownst to Les, she later booked him on a cruise to Vietnam. 

Sadly, his mother passed away before Les took the cruise and could not observe the impact this gift had on her son’s life; but I would surmise, she knew the impact it would have as she paid for the cruise. Les says this about the special gift his mother provided while alive; “I realize my mother’s gift had opened the door to many profound gifts. Through her kindness and intuition, she provided the way back to Vietnam and my healing. There, through the smiling acceptance and unspoken forgiveness of that little girl and the many other Vietnamese who welcomed me, I was able to put aside much of the guilt that had gnawed at me for so long."


While Les’ gift was not a family bonding vacation, it was a gift provided while his mother was alive, a trip that may never have occurred if Les inherited the money and spent it otherwise.

The concept of using a partial gift to fund a family vacation has become popular for both family bonding and financial reasons as discussed in this USA Today article . As grandparent David Campbell says in the article, he is mostly motivated by a desire to make his children's lives a little easier. "It's getting to a point I'd like them to enjoy life," says Campbell, a regional sales manager. "And if they're going to enjoy it, they might as well enjoy it with me."

I have observed the family vacation phenomenon on several of my own vacations. Suddenly a horde of people arrive at the pool or restaurant (not necessarily a welcome site for other vacationers) with corny matching t-shirts, saying “Smith Family Vacation 2011” or some other similar sentiment. 

Although we all know that any large family gathering can veer off the rails, these trips often bridge the generation gap between offspring and grandparents and parents. I often hear people reference these types of family vacations when they have a family get-together or the topic arises over dinner with non-family members.

Personally, I would rather hear my grandchildren say or know they are saying "When I was young, my grandparents took me on the most amazing trip!", than, “I just inherited $25,000 from my grandparents, what should I buy with it?”

This site provides general information on various tax issues and other matters. The information is not intended to constitute professional advice and may not be appropriate for a specific individual or fact situation. It is written by the author solely in their personal capacity and cannot be attributed to the accounting firm with which they are affiliated. It is not intended to constitute professional advice, and neither the author nor the firm with which the author is associated shall accept any liability in respect of any reliance on the information contained herein. Readers should always consult with their professional advisors in respect of their particular situation.

A Family Vacation- A Memory worth not Dying for

I have written several times on the topic of whether parents, who have the financial means, should provide partial gifts while they are alive, as opposed to just leaving an inheritance to their children or grandchildren.

I am a proponent of providing partial gifts while alive if you have the financial resources. My rationale is simple. Why not receive the pleasure of your gift either directly (such as a family vacation) or vicariously (by observing your children or grandchildren enjoy their gift such as a bike, car or even cottage).

The concept of a partial gift being used at least in part for a family vacation has substantial appeal to many parents. A family vacation is appealing because a parent can participate in the experience, the vacation more often than not, results in memories that last a lifetime for all the participants, and lastly, the parent has control over the gift.

I can attest personally to the benefits of a family vacation. Several years ago, my in-laws funded a Disney Cruise vacation for their children, their children's spouses and their grandchildren. This trip had a profound impact on the bonding of the grandchildren. In the case of my in-laws, the memories and enhancement of their grandchildren’s relationships was priceless and continues to this day.

Another very poignant and moving example of the gift of travel is the story of Les Brooks. Les, a Vietnam veteran, had unresolved issues relating to the war and as he states in a Princess Cruises travel blog “Vietnam was a place I left in 1966 praying I would never have to go back. But Christle sensed the deeper truth…I was curious about the place; I wanted and needed to see for myself what life was like today for the people of a country that I left so torn apart by war.”.

One day during the course of a conversation, Les’ mother asked him if he could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would he go. After thinking about the question he surprised his mother by saying Vietnam. Unbeknownst to Les, she later booked him on a cruise to Vietnam. 

Sadly, his mother passed away before Les took the cruise and could not observe the impact this gift had on her son’s life; but I would surmise, she knew the impact it would have as she paid for the cruise. Les says this about the special gift his mother provided while alive; “I realize my mother’s gift had opened the door to many profound gifts. Through her kindness and intuition, she provided the way back to Vietnam and my healing. There, through the smiling acceptance and unspoken forgiveness of that little girl and the many other Vietnamese who welcomed me, I was able to put aside much of the guilt that had gnawed at me for so long."

Here is a link to Les' travel blog.

While Les’ gift was not a family bonding vacation, it was a gift provided while his mother was alive, a trip that may never have occurred if Les inherited the money and spent it otherwise.

The concept of using a partial gift to fund a family vacation has become popular for both family bonding and financial reasons as discussed in this USA Today article . As grandparent David Campbell says in the article, he is mostly motivated by a desire to make his children's lives a little easier. "It's getting to a point I'd like them to enjoy life," says Campbell, a regional sales manager. "And if they're going to enjoy it, they might as well enjoy it with me."

I have observed the family vacation phenomenon on several of my own vacations. Suddenly a horde of people arrive at the pool or restaurant (not necessarily a welcome site for other vacationers) with corny matching t-shirts, saying “Smith Family Vacation 2011” or some other similar sentiment. 

Although we all know that any large family gathering can veer off the rails, these trips often bridge the generation gap between offspring and grandparents and parents. I often hear people reference these types of family vacations when they have a family get-together or the topic arises over dinner with non-family members.

Personally, I would rather hear my grandchildren say or know they are saying "When I was young, my grandparents took me on the most amazing trip!", than, “I just inherited $25,000 from my grandparents, what should I buy with it?”

The blogs posted on The Blunt Bean Counter provide information of a general nature. These posts should not be considered specific advice; as each reader's personal financial situation is unique and fact specific. Please contact a professional advisor prior to implementing or acting upon any of the information contained in one of the blogs.