The Best of The Blunt Bean Counter - A Family Vacation - A Memory Worth Not Dying For

This summer I am posting the "best of" The Blunt Bean Counter blog while I work on my golf game. Today, I am re-posting a May 8, 2012 blog that I already re-posted in 2015 on the merits of a grandparent/parent taking their family on a vacation if they have the financial means.

The impetus to post this blog yet again, was a retirement webinar for small business owners I took part in earlier this month. During the webinar I discussed this topic, which reinforced to me, how valuable these trips can be for family bonding (taking the optimistic viewpoint, as opposed to the possibility that too much togetherness may not be good for some families).

A Family Vacation- A Memory Worth Not Dying For

I have written several times on the topic of whether parents (parent can be interchanged with grandparent wherever used in this post), who have the financial means, should provide partial gifts while they are alive, as opposed to just leaving an inheritance to their children or grandchildren.

I am a proponent of providing partial gifts while alive if you have the financial resources. My rationale is simple. Why not receive the pleasure of your gift either directly (such as a family vacation) or vicariously (by observing your children or grandchildren enjoy their gift such as a bike, car or even cottage).

The concept of a partial gift being used at least in part for a family vacation has substantial appeal to many parents. A family vacation is appealing because a parent can participate in the experience, the vacation more often than not, results in memories that last a lifetime for all the participants, and lastly, the parent has control over the gift.

I can attest personally to the benefits of a family vacation. Several years ago, my in-laws funded a Disney Cruise vacation for their children, their children's spouses and their grandchildren. This trip had a profound impact on the bonding of the grandchildren. In the case of my in-laws, the memories and enhancement of their grandchildren’s relationships was priceless and continues to this day.

Another very poignant and moving example of the gift of travel is the story of Les Brooks. Les, a Vietnam veteran, had unresolved issues relating to the war and as he states in this Princess Cruises travel blog.

One day during the course of a conversation, Les’ mother asked him if he could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would he go. After thinking about the question he surprised his mother by saying Vietnam. Unbeknownst to Les, she later booked him on a cruise to Vietnam. 

Sadly, his mother passed away before Les took the cruise and could not observe the impact this gift had on her son’s life; but I would surmise, she knew the impact it would have as she paid for the cruise. Les says this about the special gift his mother provided while alive; “I realized my mother’s gift had opened the door to many profound gifts. Through her kindness and intuition, she provided the way back to Vietnam and my healing. There, through the smiling acceptance and unspoken forgiveness of that little girl and the many other Vietnamese who welcomed me, I was able to put aside much of the guilt that had gnawed at me for so long."

While Les’ gift was not a family bonding vacation, it was a gift provided while his mother was alive, a trip that may never have occurred if Les inherited the money and spent it otherwise.

The concept of using a partial gift to fund a family vacation has become popular for both family bonding and financial reasons. As grandparent David Campbell says in a USA Today article (link expired), he is mostly motivated by a desire to make his children's lives a little easier. "It's getting to a point I'd like them to enjoy life," says Campbell, a regional sales manager. "And if they're going to enjoy it, they might as well enjoy it with me."

I have observed the family vacation phenomenon on several of my own vacations. Suddenly a horde of people arrive at the pool or restaurant (not necessarily a welcome site for other vacationers) with corny matching t-shirts, saying “Smith Family Vacation 2011” or some other similar sentiment. 

Although we all know that any large family gathering can veer off the rails, these trips often bridge the generation gap between offspring and grandparents and parents. I often hear people reference these types of family vacations when they have a family get-together or the topic arises over dinner with non-family members.

Personally, I would rather hear my grandchildren say or know they are saying "When I was young, my grandparents took me on the most amazing trip!", than, “I just inherited $25,000 from my grandparents, what should I buy with it?”

This site provides general information on various tax issues and other matters. The information is not intended to constitute professional advice and may not be appropriate for a specific individual or fact situation. It is written by the author solely in their personal capacity and cannot be attributed to the accounting firm with which they are affiliated. It is not intended to constitute professional advice, and neither the author nor the firm with which the author is associated shall accept any liability in respect of any reliance on the information contained herein. Readers should always consult with their professional advisors in respect of their particular situation. Please note the blog post is time sensitive and subject to changes in legislation or law.

The Best of The Blunt Bean Counter - A Family Vacation- A Memory Worth Not Dying For

This summer I am posting the "best of" The Blunt Bean Counter blog while I work on my golf game. Today, I am re-posting a May 8, 2012 post on the merits of a grandparent/parent taking their family on a vacation if they have the financial means.

A Family Vacation- A Memory Worth Not Dying For

I have written several times on the topic of whether parents, who have the financial means, should provide partial gifts while they are alive, as opposed to just leaving an inheritance to their children or grandchildren.

I am a proponent of providing partial gifts while alive if you have the financial resources. My rationale is simple. Why not receive the pleasure of your gift either directly (such as a family vacation) or vicariously (by observing your children or grandchildren enjoy their gift such as a bike, car or even cottage).

The concept of a partial gift being used at least in part for a family vacation has substantial appeal to many parents. A family vacation is appealing because a parent can participate in the experience, the vacation more often than not, results in memories that last a lifetime for all the participants, and lastly, the parent has control over the gift.

I can attest personally to the benefits of a family vacation. Several years ago, my in-laws funded a Disney Cruise vacation for their children, their children's spouses and their grandchildren. This trip had a profound impact on the bonding of the grandchildren. In the case of my in-laws, the memories and enhancement of their grandchildren’s relationships was priceless and continues to this day.

Another very poignant and moving example of the gift of travel is the story of Les Brooks. Les, a Vietnam veteran, had unresolved issues relating to the war and as he states in a Princess Cruises travel blog (unfortunately the link has expired)  “Vietnam was a place I left in 1966 praying I would never have to go back. But Christle sensed the deeper truth…I was curious about the place; I wanted and needed to see for myself what life was like today for the people of a country that I left so torn apart by war.”.

One day during the course of a conversation, Les’ mother asked him if he could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would he go. After thinking about the question he surprised his mother by saying Vietnam. Unbeknownst to Les, she later booked him on a cruise to Vietnam. 

Sadly, his mother passed away before Les took the cruise and could not observe the impact this gift had on her son’s life; but I would surmise, she knew the impact it would have as she paid for the cruise. Les says this about the special gift his mother provided while alive; “I realize my mother’s gift had opened the door to many profound gifts. Through her kindness and intuition, she provided the way back to Vietnam and my healing. There, through the smiling acceptance and unspoken forgiveness of that little girl and the many other Vietnamese who welcomed me, I was able to put aside much of the guilt that had gnawed at me for so long."


While Les’ gift was not a family bonding vacation, it was a gift provided while his mother was alive, a trip that may never have occurred if Les inherited the money and spent it otherwise.

The concept of using a partial gift to fund a family vacation has become popular for both family bonding and financial reasons as discussed in this USA Today article . As grandparent David Campbell says in the article, he is mostly motivated by a desire to make his children's lives a little easier. "It's getting to a point I'd like them to enjoy life," says Campbell, a regional sales manager. "And if they're going to enjoy it, they might as well enjoy it with me."

I have observed the family vacation phenomenon on several of my own vacations. Suddenly a horde of people arrive at the pool or restaurant (not necessarily a welcome site for other vacationers) with corny matching t-shirts, saying “Smith Family Vacation 2011” or some other similar sentiment. 

Although we all know that any large family gathering can veer off the rails, these trips often bridge the generation gap between offspring and grandparents and parents. I often hear people reference these types of family vacations when they have a family get-together or the topic arises over dinner with non-family members.

Personally, I would rather hear my grandchildren say or know they are saying "When I was young, my grandparents took me on the most amazing trip!", than, “I just inherited $25,000 from my grandparents, what should I buy with it?”

This site provides general information on various tax issues and other matters. The information is not intended to constitute professional advice and may not be appropriate for a specific individual or fact situation. It is written by the author solely in their personal capacity and cannot be attributed to the accounting firm with which they are affiliated. It is not intended to constitute professional advice, and neither the author nor the firm with which the author is associated shall accept any liability in respect of any reliance on the information contained herein. Readers should always consult with their professional advisors in respect of their particular situation.

Travel Travails

I need another week to rest my brain post tax season before I get back into more technical or philosophical blog posts. So I am going to write about some travel travails a friend and I have experienced in the last few months. My story is of luggage lost and then found; but my friend’s story is so outrageous you could never make it up and I bet you laugh out loud at the end of the story.

No Luggage, No Big Deal

A few months ago I went to Samana, in the Dominican Republic. The Air Canada flight was smooth and on time. Unfortunately my bag didn’t arrive with me, nor did it ever arrive in the Dominican Republic. It did arrive at my house 4 days after I returned home from my trip. Although I never got a

straight answer, I don’t think the bag ever even left Toronto.

This post is not intended to be a rant piece. So, I am just going to say that Air Canada’s policy to only reimburse you $50 a day for replacement clothes and toiletries for the first two days to a maximum of $100 is absurd

So I have no bag, only running shoes, a hoodie, a sweater, jeans, one t-shirt and what I carried on the plane – that being a bathing suit, tank top and flip flops. In my infinite wisdom I had not carried any toiletries or medication; considering I had pulled a muscle in my back the week before, not taking some pain relievers in my carry-on bag was a stupid move on my part.

As our hotel in Samana was in a somewhat remote location, there was not exactly a Wal-Mart around the corner. For $140, I purchased from the hotel store: deodorant, shaving cream, a razor, a toothbrush and toothpaste, an ugly Hawaiian patterned bathing suit, a t-shirt and a circa Miami Vice drug lord white short sleeved four pocket casual white dress shirt for dinner (I eventually got Air Canada to reimburse me for the entire $140, plus I worked them for another concession).

For one week I made do with two bathing suits, two pairs of underwear (one from my son), three t-shirts (one a free giveaway from the hotel), my jeans, one tank top, a hat from my friend and my Miami Vice shirt. In all honesty, if I had two more pairs of underwear, a pair of shorts, a pair of Dockers and a couple shirts to change for dinner I would have been good – this trip made me realize how little one really needs to pack for a week-long beach holiday.

Although I was cranky the first two days, on the third day I told myself to accept the situation and make the best of my holiday. I learned to live with my limited wardrobe and my wife, family and friends had some fun at my expense. Every morning on the beach, I would be asked if that was a new bathing suit, each night I would bum hair gel off my son (yes, despite my lack of hair, I still need gel to hold down what’s left). When I arrived for dinner a gag developed as to what I had put in the four pockets of my shirt that night. So I would put anything I could find from toothpicks, to mints, to matches, etc. The point being, sometimes you just have to make the most of what you have. 

In the end, I realized I was lucky to be in the Dominican Republic, with or without luggage. Once I adjusted my mind set I was able to have fun and enjoy my vacation, as best I could.

While losing one's luggage on a beach holiday can be overcome, losing or having your baggage misplaced on a cruise or sightseeing trip can be devastating. If you want some tips on how to protect yourself from lost luggage and how someone fought back against a Cruise Line when they lost her luggage, check out this article by Ellen Roseman of the Toronto Star. 

Is That Your Rental Car?

My misplaced luggage story is pretty common place and mundane. My friend’s story on the other hand could not have been concocted by Steven Spielberg.

My friend and his family went on a Caribbean vacation this Christmas and stayed at a nice hotel.

They also rented a standard sedan car, the type that if you don't jot down the licence plate would be indistinguishable in a parking lot.

My friend was enjoying his vacation, but like many North Americans who are not used to the slow pace in the Caribbean, he became impatient waiting for the hotel valet to get his car each morning and night. He thus asked for his keys so he could get his own car. For the next couple days he retrieves his car himself and they drive around the island in relative comfort. The only issue is that they misplace their maps and get lost one day.

On the fifth day of his vacation, he goes down to the parking lot to get his car and it will not start. He is obviously less than pleased, as he will now have to deal with the car rental office and try and get a replacement car during Christmas, which he figures could be problematic.

He gets out of the car and opens the hood. (This raises a totally separate issue as to why most of us even bother to open the hood when a car does not start, since we do not even have a clue what is under the hood, but I digress). After he closes the hood and comes around the car he is met by tall and burly hotel security guard, actually the head of security. He is asked if there is a problem and he tells the head of security that his car will not start. However, the security person is not really interested and asks him if he can provide the rental car agreement. My friend, not sure why he is being asked for the agreement hands over the papers. The head of security asks him if his name is Tom Wilson (made up name) of Tennessee. At this point, knowing this is not his name; my friend starts to feel uneasy and is asked to accompany the security person to a room. He is then told that the reason the car did not start was that the hotel had pulled the engine wires as the car has been reported stolen. My friend now understands what has happened, but in a Caribbean country in a small locked room with two large security agents, I imagine he is thinking Midnight Express and getting worried. 

While this is happening, his wife has now gone to reception and is giving the hotel a what for and threatening to call the Canadian Consulate and trying to find out what the hell is going on and where her husband is. As the story starts to come together, my friend’s daughter realizes what has happened and goes looking for a similar car and finds the car they were initially provided sitting in the lot, unused, with the missing maps. 

It turns out the valet had provided my friend with the keys to the wrong car and the cars were so similar, nobody noticed it was the wrong car. Meanwhile, Mr. Wilson had his holiday ruined by not having a car and having to deal with reporting a stolen car. The hotel security was dumbfounded as to why a stolen car was being taken and returned each day by the thief. Why they did not act expediently once they realized this, is another question.

Anyways, one can only imagine the mess this caused and once the truth emerged, how everyone involved must have shaken their heads in disbelief. Despite all the hotel security had put my friend through; the hotel initially wanted my friend to cover Mr. Wilkinson’s car rental costs. However, as the story unraveled, they quickly changed their tune and provided free massages and a nice bottle of wine to my friend. As for Mr. Wilson, I am not sure how he was made whole; I understand he was not pleased with the whole episode.

That concludes this week’s episode of travel travails; feel free to comment on this blog with any travel travail you have endured.

A Family Vacation- A Memory worth not Dying for

I have written several times on the topic of whether parents, who have the financial means, should provide partial gifts while they are alive, as opposed to just leaving an inheritance to their children or grandchildren.

I am a proponent of providing partial gifts while alive if you have the financial resources. My rationale is simple. Why not receive the pleasure of your gift either directly (such as a family vacation) or vicariously (by observing your children or grandchildren enjoy their gift such as a bike, car or even cottage).

The concept of a partial gift being used at least in part for a family vacation has substantial appeal to many parents. A family vacation is appealing because a parent can participate in the experience, the vacation more often than not, results in memories that last a lifetime for all the participants, and lastly, the parent has control over the gift.

I can attest personally to the benefits of a family vacation. Several years ago, my in-laws funded a Disney Cruise vacation for their children, their children's spouses and their grandchildren. This trip had a profound impact on the bonding of the grandchildren. In the case of my in-laws, the memories and enhancement of their grandchildren’s relationships was priceless and continues to this day.

Another very poignant and moving example of the gift of travel is the story of Les Brooks. Les, a Vietnam veteran, had unresolved issues relating to the war and as he states in a Princess Cruises travel blog “Vietnam was a place I left in 1966 praying I would never have to go back. But Christle sensed the deeper truth…I was curious about the place; I wanted and needed to see for myself what life was like today for the people of a country that I left so torn apart by war.”.

One day during the course of a conversation, Les’ mother asked him if he could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would he go. After thinking about the question he surprised his mother by saying Vietnam. Unbeknownst to Les, she later booked him on a cruise to Vietnam. 

Sadly, his mother passed away before Les took the cruise and could not observe the impact this gift had on her son’s life; but I would surmise, she knew the impact it would have as she paid for the cruise. Les says this about the special gift his mother provided while alive; “I realize my mother’s gift had opened the door to many profound gifts. Through her kindness and intuition, she provided the way back to Vietnam and my healing. There, through the smiling acceptance and unspoken forgiveness of that little girl and the many other Vietnamese who welcomed me, I was able to put aside much of the guilt that had gnawed at me for so long."

Here is a link to Les' travel blog.

While Les’ gift was not a family bonding vacation, it was a gift provided while his mother was alive, a trip that may never have occurred if Les inherited the money and spent it otherwise.

The concept of using a partial gift to fund a family vacation has become popular for both family bonding and financial reasons as discussed in this USA Today article . As grandparent David Campbell says in the article, he is mostly motivated by a desire to make his children's lives a little easier. "It's getting to a point I'd like them to enjoy life," says Campbell, a regional sales manager. "And if they're going to enjoy it, they might as well enjoy it with me."

I have observed the family vacation phenomenon on several of my own vacations. Suddenly a horde of people arrive at the pool or restaurant (not necessarily a welcome site for other vacationers) with corny matching t-shirts, saying “Smith Family Vacation 2011” or some other similar sentiment. 

Although we all know that any large family gathering can veer off the rails, these trips often bridge the generation gap between offspring and grandparents and parents. I often hear people reference these types of family vacations when they have a family get-together or the topic arises over dinner with non-family members.

Personally, I would rather hear my grandchildren say or know they are saying "When I was young, my grandparents took me on the most amazing trip!", than, “I just inherited $25,000 from my grandparents, what should I buy with it?”

The blogs posted on The Blunt Bean Counter provide information of a general nature. These posts should not be considered specific advice; as each reader's personal financial situation is unique and fact specific. Please contact a professional advisor prior to implementing or acting upon any of the information contained in one of the blogs.